Update

I had a few days this week when I literally could keep nothing down.

So, they checked me into the hospital on Tuesday again and kept me there until they could find a combination of medicine to help me keep food and water down.

I am currently taking 3 different medications and a sleeping pill.

This is hard for me, because I really don't like feeling drugged.....

But, of course I am grateful that I can survive and keep nourishment.

My mom has been here since Wednesday, but is leaving Monday morning and I am trying not to panic. It has been amazing to have here here. She has been so wonderful!

I have days where I feel just as sick and horrible and then a day where I feel ok.

I am grateful for the ok days.

I am trying to know it won't last forever!

I got to see the baby and the heart beat in the hospital. That helped a little bit.

Although for the most part I just can't believe I am actually pregnant.

Brutally Honest Post

So, I thought I was sick a week ago.....

That is a joke.

As of Friday I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

Which basically means the baby is like a foreign object to the body

and so it freaks out and you throw up all the time.

The last 4 days have really tested my strength and endurance.

I have been to the hospital twice (once over night) to get hydrated

and find an anti-nausea medication that works for me.

I have tried 3 already and two give me migraines and the other did nothing.

So this last time we found one that keeps me from throwing up.

I spent literally from 4 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Thursday throwing up anything and everything.

Wow, let me just say. I thought I was dying. It was unbearable.

Yesterday I came home to a liquid diet and a pregnant woman appetite

and felt like I was starving to death. But hey, I wasn't throwing up.

Today I am on solids and can actually sit up and move to write this.

I am so grateful we found this medication although it makes me fall asleep.

I still feel nauseous all the time, but I can eat.

So, here's to sleeping through my first 16 weeks of pregnancy.

My ward and friends have been unbelievable!

I am crying now thinking of the love and kindness.

And whether it's ok to solicit prayers over the web or not..... I am.

Thank you for all your prayers already.

In those moments when I want to die I try to muster up the prayers I know people are giving.

And most of all I must say I have married an angel! I true angel on earth.

His compassion and kind, loving care are indescribable!

He does everything without complaining and I know it is waring on him!

Thanks again for all your goodness and prayers!

In response to some of the comments.....

Jennie, as far as the cyst goes.... we are just going to watch it like a hawk throughout the pregnancy. There is a chance it will have to be removed during the pregnancy like what happened with Isaac. If not then the dr. will remove it along with my right ovary and fallopian tube after delivering the baby.

I too am praying for a girl. I hope that is not wrong. But since it is my last chance I feel justified.

Isaac prays for a sister every time he prays. I had to sit him down and explain that there is still a chance that we will get a brother. I told him I would be just as happy and grateful because I know the Lord knows our family and what soul is to come here.

I hope he understands.

Thanks for all your kindness and comments!

Love to all!

A Family of Five!

I have been debating about whether or not to share this.

But if there's one thing about me.... I don't keep things inside!

I feel like I will explode. Like the information

is itching it's way out until I have to share!

So it all started about 2 months ago when I had a miscarriage.

During the ultra sound in the E.R. they found a dermoid cyst

on my one and only remaining ovary. (My other ovary was already

removed after being destroyed by the same kind of cyst.)

I was informed 5 wks ago, at a follow up appointment with my O.B

that the cyst would be slow growing and eventually destroy

my ovary and that it was impossible to remove and if attempted,

I would loose my ovary.

I informed her that my family was not complete.

She said that only I would know that and so pledged to help me

get pregnant and have one more baby.

To say I was emotional and heart broken would be correct.

I know I am blessed to have 2 children and a possible 3rd.

But to be told you are finished is hard.

I felt like a precious choice was taken from me.

So fertility was in full swing as I have been wanting another baby for a year now.

But God is good and his works mysterious.

I AM PREGNANT!

All on my own!

And I am sicker than a dog,

so I know this baby is here to stay.

So, if I am not myself, or you don't see me about.

Or worse yet, you happen to see me and I look like I got hit by a train..... I did, and I'm not.

But to say I am grateful beyond description is an understatement.

I feel that to try would be folly.

All I know is that the Lord knows all!

I am so excited for this new person who will come to our home around Christmas time.

It will be our Christmas miracle!

Documentation Purposes

Baseball Season Spring 2010

I realize these are horrible action shots.

Isaac was awesome at baseball.

He loved it and we loved watching him!

Our stake put on free baseball!

We ate hotdogs, snow cones and cotton candy while we watched!

Life is super fun isn't it?

Happy 6th Birthday Isaac!

Isaac thanking Justin for his gift!

I can't believe I am just now recording Isaac'g birthday! It was 3 weeks ago!

We had such a fun party with friends! Their favorite game was Red-Rover Red-Rover!

I can't believe Isaac is six! I am madly in love with this boy! He is so fun and so sweet!

He loves to "cuddle" with me. He asks me several times a day and of course I don't

turn him down.

He is such a good big brother. He is so patient with Easton and is such a good sharer!

He is doing so well in school and has such good friends!

I LOVE this BOY!

Just Diggin' up Dinosaur Bones!

This was an awesome birthday gift Isaac got.

We later assembled and painted it.

ARIZONA

This is going to be a short worded, picture-filled post.

Being gone for two weeks is blissfull, but catching up is horrible!

I don't think I even sleep at night. I keep one eye open, ready for the

insane day the next day!

So. Hyper speed post....

Isaac and his cousin Charlotte had a double birthday party.

Hence the 4 and the 6!

The Pinata!

GRANDMA!

Leslie the day 3 days before Samual was born!

Nathan!

Nathan's mom and dad, Cara and Alan.

I don't know?

Callie and Easton

Watching movies on Matt's bed.

The Handsome Prince and the Beautiful Princess dancing!

Dips and spins and bowing and all!

Swimming!

I left out the most important part of the trip. The Temple. We went to the open house of the new Gila Valley temple and words can't describe the feeling there and the way the people have sacrificed and truly made it their own. They are completely focused on it and it's wonderful.

My sisiter Leslie and her husband and little girl were sealed in the Mesa temple also. And again words fail me. She belonged there with us and I LOVE her.

I got to see a lot of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins as well and that was wonderful!

John and I got to go on a get away for 3 days! HEAVEN!

I love him. I love him. I love him.

Get the picture?

I know two things......

1. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING.

2. I want to go home worthily to my Father in Heaven.

(Just not now please.)

The things they say.....

Yesterday Easton's little friend Brittany was over playing.

They were just chatting while they played,

and Brittany all of a sudden had a realization

that she needed to share with Easton.

She said very excitedly, " Easton, my Grandma has

a dog like Sophy!

His name is Chewy and he's a boy! They can get married!.....

They can get married in the doggy temple!"

To which Easton replied " That would be so silly!"

Then today Isaac was very upset about something. No,

he was ANGRY! He kept telling me how mad he was and he was

hitting the bed and growling.

I tried to point out to him that the reason he was so unhappy,

was because he was being selfish and letting Satan take

over his thoughts.

I asked him to let me know when he was ready to pray

and ask Heavenly Father to take the feeling away

and replace it with love.

So after a few minutes he decided he was ready and we prayed.

He comletely calmed down and was ready to come out of his room.

That night during his personal prayeres he said,

" Thank You for taking the (mom, what's that word?) selfish out of me."

Such a good boy. Truly!

Easter Friends!

We had so much fun with all our wonderful friends!

I love holidays because it's another excuse to get together with friends and do fun stuff!

Easter Egg Hunt and Decorating!

Isaac with our new friend Taylor

Easton with Eden and Justin!

Easton with Beckham (Taylor's brother.)

Egg Rolling!

My friend Melinda has a tradtion to roll or race the eggs

down a hill. It was a riot! Except it made a big mess!

Because we used hard boiled eggs.

Flowers with the Gutke's!



Saint Patrick's Hats!

Hope you all had as much fun as we did!

I love the feeling of Easter. I really do think about the Savior more and am so full of gratitude for him and all he has and does do for me and my loved ones!

True. Fulfillment.

(WARNING: Long, wordy post. Hey I don't do it that often.)

Am I the luckiest lady or what?

I have so many thoughts jumbled in my little brain.

I hope I can express them.

I have had several "moments" lately that have caused my heart to swell.

First of all...... I love track break! I love having my Isaac home!

I seriously LOVE being a mommy.

Every morning we find ourselves all in my bed.

We just lay there snuggling and laughing until were ready to start the day.

Every day I think, "I get another day with these amazing little creatures?"

Don't get me wrong. I have lots of moments where I feel frustrated and a little annoyed.

But I truly feel that my Father in Heaven is blessing me beyond my own capabilities.

He is allowing me to hold on to every minute and not want to rush ahead to when it is easier,

or when everything is better or perfect.

I get this little giddy feeling when my boys are playing super heroes or digging in the dirt,

or drawing together, or wrestling and giggling.

I feel this simple, sweet peace and am constantly reassured that THIS is what I was born to do.

THIS is true joy. And I don't want to miss any of it wishing for something else.

Two of my most fulfilling moments are what would seem menial chores.

The first is Mondays: Laundry Day.

It took me a while to realize why I felt so happy at the end of this day.

When I have spent the whole day (in between the other responsibilities)

doing 6 loads of laundry,

starting from all of it unsorted, to putting every single peace away.... folded neatly....

( This is a run on sentence.)

I feel this simple fulfillment, "I did all that in one day and my house is clean and in order,

and my family have clean clothes to wear."

Silly, I know.

Another menial chore is grinding my own wheat,( I recently got a Nutri Mill Grinder) and then making something

hearty and healthy right out of that freshly ground wheat!

I get excited just thinking about it! I know I am such a nerd!

John thinks I am crazy!

I can not describe the joy I feel when I fill my families bellies with pure nutrients.

Even sillier, I know.

But.... I am ever grateful for this ride called life!

And I want to enjoy every bump and curve along the way!

Oh if only I was this smart.......

Easton:

The other day I was really sad and I kept crying alot. Isaac asked me why I would cry and then stop and then cry again. And I told him that I was trying not to cry. So then a few minutes later I was crying again and Easton said very seriously, "Mom, try not to cry. You need to be strong."

So sweet and cute!

Isaac:

Yesterday we were riding in the car with our cousin Ethan Bauerle. Isaac and Ethan were just chatting it up like little adults. Ethan was saying that as soon as school is over he is moving to Alabama. Isaac said, " Ohhhh, I am going to miss you." And then Ethan said, " I am going to miss you too."

Then Isaac said very enthusiastically, " Don't you worry though, you are going to make new friends...... It will be hard...... (then, more to himself)I don't remember making new friends."

To which Ethan said, " I don't know how to make new friends."

And then Isaac answered, " It's easy, you just walk up and say " ' Hi, I am Isaac. Will you be my friend?' "

It was so cute. How simple and true. I wish we could do that as adults. Wouldn't it be so much easier then the himming and hawing around?

I can't believe how big these boys are getting. I feel like I am hanging out with friends all day, not little boys. They are so grown up!

San Diego...... Sea World

and other fun!

John got free tickets to Sea World through the Army so we went for his Spring Break.

John's sister Amy and her family came with us.

We had a blast!

Our first stop.... the San Diego Temple!

Breath taking!

In the car, in the hotel and at Sea World!

The boys almost had as much fun at the h0tel as anything else.

They stayed in their own room in the suite we had and they thought they were big stuff.

They kept the french doors shut most of the time.

And they loved the pool! Kids love to swim!

Jared on John's shoulder's. (Taken from our hotel room.)

Isaac and John on the left and Jared and Ethan on the right.

Seal Beach

Do people really get to live here?

Ethan and Isaac

The boys were collecting sea shells. It was freezing, thus the jackets. This picture was taken just seconds away from the tide coming in and drenching the boys in ice cold water. Easton was taken out to sea a little ways and John had to sacrifice his flip flops to the ocean to save him.

I was watching from above the beach and after the scary moment passed it was quite funny.

The boys were screaming and crying saying " We hate the ocean! We hate this day!"

They were so cold. But what an adventure to tell some day!

Thanks Bauerle's for the fun day and crazy nights! The games and laughs were the best!

We love you guys!

There is nothing like family vacation!